Poetry

Alright, so very recently (about 3 months ago) I discovered a love of poetry. It all started when I subscribed to Kindle Unlimited, there were so many free books and for some weird reason I was drawn to the poetry section.

The very first book I read was called The Words I'll Never Say, by Alaska Lane. It tells a beautiful story about heartbreak, finding love again, mental disorders. The author does a brilliant job at putting her emotions in her words. Some people write but there isn't much meaning behind the words, but with Alaska you can tell she experienced everything she writes about. She poured her heart and soul into this book. The poems are all apart of a story, the story of her life. It is so brilliant and beautiful.

Authors Note: I convinced my non-bookish friend to read this book with me, and she is ADDICTED to it. She cannot put it down.

Now time for some of my original poetry. Now, I am brand new to this, I haven't taken any classes on poetry, I just pour my heart out and that is enough.

I can distract myself all day,

But at night, while I lay in bed

My thoughts always lead me back to you,

You are the song I can’t get out of my head, your voice is stuck on repeat in my mind. I’m trying to block it, but there is one verse I can’t get out.

I love you.

You spent so long trying to figure me out, you didn’t realize I hid part of myself from you. Never showing you myself, only the parts of me you would accept. Nothing more, nothing less. And you still walked away from it all.

I may be alone,

But,

I am not lonely,

My thoughts bring me comfort. When you aren’t home.

I’ve read so many stories about falling in love, what about a story with just love? Everything that falls gets broken, and we all want a happy ending after all.

I read, I want to know I’m not alone in this lonely world. I find myself in between the pages of a fictional world. Some see me reading in pain, I’ve just lost my favorite character. Others will see me sobbing over a fluffy romantic scene. But to you it may be just a book, words on pages. But to me it is a portal to another dimension. A way to escape the life we call home and find a new one, one of dragons, fairies, talking dogs. One where no matter where we look in the pages we can find a place to call home.

I’m broken,

I can’t hide it anymore

I’m working on me

I am trying to love again

But loving after loss is hard

They say it gets easier

But those people want to forget the pain, me

I want to remember, I’m not done loving you yet, I try to move on, but everything I do reminds me of you

Everything comes back to you.

Your words were a shelter to me, you always said what I needed to hear. Never telling me the truth, when you left I found out about reality the hard way. You told me what I wanted to hear, not what I needed. When you left other people's words washed over me and it was too much. I drowned, I’m lost without you.

If I called for you would you still come running back? You used too? But in the end you would’ve left me again and again. You came to me cause I called, not because you care. You always leave me again. Maybe I have an open wound and I am bleeding on you. I can’t heal my wound if the glass keeps cutting me back open.

Everyone says we should be pretty. Like it is expected of us, our debt to society. But what if we want to be more? Pretty smart, pretty strong, we shouldn’t be judged for loving ourselves and being ourselves. Why be pretty on the outside when you can be beautiful inside and out?

It’s the little things in life that give me hope, the little notes someone leaves for me, the song that matches my emotions perfectly in the moment, having the right person, the little things in life such as hot tea and a good book, the nice breeze blowing your curtains all around, the perfect song for your mood. I live for things such as these.

Love is more than I love yous, it is me calling you at 2am because I had a bad dream and you calming me, it is playing with my hair while we watch a movie. It is you reading my book so you understand me just a little more. Love is more than knee deep, it is hard, it is work. But it is all worth it.

Tell her, tell her you love her. She doesn’t hear it enough. She looks in the mirror and sees everything wrong with her. She smiles for you everyday but deep down she is a mess. But when she looks at you all she sees is perfection. She goes home every night and cries into her pillow thinking she isn’t loved. Tell her, she is afraid to go on with no one by her side. Tell her…

I felt it all, and maybe that’s why I tried to shut it all off. I couldn’t handle it, and I lost everything.

I know that you put a mask on every time we meet. It doesn’t stop me from trying to love you. I try to see past it but all I see is plastic. A cover, you put it on to convince me to love you, but how can I love something that was never real?

I wasn’t ever in love with you, only the idea of you. I wanted someone who would stay up all night talking to me, who would play with my hair, who would comfort me when I cry. You promised all that, but all you gave false comfort, I trusted you to love me. I couldn’t have been more off. I love you

Every time I am alone, when my heart finally is under control, you come back. I can’t erase you. I try and try to forget you, I try and try to erase you but you never are truly gone. Just out of mind for a minute and then you come right back. You are everywhere I go

You are everywhere I go, I see you in the music that’s playing around me, I see you when I walk in the park, I see you when I lie alone in my bed. You are everywhere I go.

You are a poison to me. You enter my mind and make me lose control. I can’t help what I do when you are on my mind.

She was such a bright rainbow, but he was colorblind.

She was a blank canvas, waiting for someone to come fill her and make her colorful. But he came along and painted it black.

I asked you to love me, apparently that was too much to ask. So you left, I asked for something you could never give, so instead of prolonging the pain you left. Maybe it was easier this way..

She shone so bright for him but he put on sunglasses and turned away.

I held onto hope. I never let it go, I hoped one day you'd see that it was a mistake. I hoped you'd come back to me. But in the end I only hurt myself. I held onto that hope for too long and I hurt myself more than you ever did.

They say i worry too much, i say i worry so that when something good does happen i might actually be happy for a change

I don’t care what people say when we’re together. We were meant to be, you are black and I am white and together we fill each other’s grey areas.

Take care luvs